William Thomas

William Thomas
Topics: Humorist Comedians
Traveling From: Toronto 
Availabilities: Call Toll Free 1.800.693.6665 or complete our Request Form

William Thomas is an award winning author, scriptwriter, and a nationally syndicated humour columnist.

Experience: William Thomas is the author of seven books of humor including the story about his cat Malcolm entitled Life In the Litterbox. You don’t have to buy the book, in the end, she got the car, he got the cat. He wrote the definitive book on male behavior entitled Guys – Not Real Bright and Damn Proud Of It! And of course, his fine tribute to the great Canadian sport of curling Hey! Is That Guy Dead Or Is He the Skip? William claims 5000 curlers bought that book…..and later burned it.

The book about his wee Irish mother, Margaret And Me was subtitled All Humor Needs A Victim and Your Mother Should Come First! His last book, The Dog Rules Damn Near Everything! enjoyed 49 straight weeks atop. The National Post’s Canadian Bestseller List simultaneously hitting hit Number One in The Post, The Star, The Globe and McLean’s Magazine.

William has been nominated twice for the prestigious Gemini Award for writing movies for television. Recently, William’s work was included in the Great Canadian Anthology Of Humour along with 50 of the best humour writers in Canada, from Stephen Leacock to today. In addition to the 50 newspapers that carry his weekly column, William was the senior writer for Niagara Life Magazine, Forever Young Monthly and Canada’s PETS Magazine

Performance Style: William Thomas usually begins his rich comic rant by thanking his host for not introducing him as a comedian. Although he is often referred to as ‘a stand-up comedian with notes’ he is not. He claims the only reason he uses the podium is to deflect flying objects, usually fruit, from the audience. Seriously, as someone who writes humor, teaches humor, authors funny books and scripts, writes television comedies, he has earned the title of Humorist.


“I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking. But I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they are still going.” The British Lord Birkett.
“Been there, seen that, had to talk louder than the lady on her cell phone. Making a living at the microphone is not as easy as it looks.”

“I don’t actually like jokes,” he admits. dissolve into sexist or racist comments. There are so few good ones and many Hurtful humor is an oxymoron.

“Jokes tend to split an audience,” he continues. “If they’re really edgy or blue, the young people respond but the older are either offended or don’t get them. If it’s a good clean old fashioned joke, the young people roll their eyes.”

Why hire William Thomas? William takes the time to truly customize his presentation and involve the audience. He makes people laugh about a wide range of subjects which is a testament to his natural flair for finding humour in the simple things in life. Why would William Thomas need jokes when his wonderful presentation of true Canadian stories about real people and actual events is absolutely hilarious. Proving that relevance does not end with retirement and although 65 may not be “the new 50” it sure ain’t “the old 65” William will share all the gaffs and laughs and everything he learned with your group or audience.

Works Well in this Type of Event: Event Emcee, Private Events, Corporate Events, Comedy Festivals, Comedy Shows, Dinner Events, Charity Events, Celebrity Speaking Events, and Conventions.

Contact: You can request information on our entertainment options through our on-line request form. Or, you can call us Toll Free at 1.800.693.6665.


“Congratulations to whoever suggested such a great speaker. I was laughing out loud.”
Pam Price, Edmonton SPCA Board of Directors

“William’s ability to make people laugh about a wide range of subjects is a testament to his natural flair for finding humour in the simplicities of everyday life.”

“Mr. Thomas: On behalf of the Smithsonian Associates, please accept my warmest thanks for your providing our group with a terrific series of lectures last week. I’m delighted that you had a good time as well. You are not only a wonderful speaker, but also blessed with the ability to get everyone involved right from the start. That kind of participation is what we seek in a seminar.”
Smithsonian Associate

“William was outstanding. He had everyone in hysterics. He crafted his presentation brilliantly for the audience. He had a tremendous challenge in communicating to an audience that had representation from dozens of countries worldwide and … William was excellent!”
Deborah Mates -The Lawson Health Research Institute -London, Ont

“Thank you very much for providing us with a much needed evening of entertainment as our annual members’ conference in Guelph. The response to the evening was extremely positive. You continued to be the topic of conversation well into the evening in our networking suite. It is refreshing to work with someone who takes the time to truly customize their presentation and involve the audience.”
The Society of Management Accountants of Ontario

“We were delighted to have William Thomas as our closing speaker. His presentation and subject matter kept everyone in fits of laughter. Just what the doctor ordered for the OMC delegates after participating in four full days and nights of conference activities. Bill’s many talents as a humorist author and speaker brought rave reviews from all in attendance. I would recommend Bill’s services to anyone and would certainly be delighted to have him back at future events.”
Ontario School Boards

Describing WILLIAM THOMAS’ recent address to 600 conventioneers of Beta Sigma Phi Sorority… waves of laughter permeated at least three floors of the Royal Connaught Hotel in Hamilton.”
Marlene Dobbie